You had your heart set on a thing for a long time, longer than you want to admit. Finally it has passed the point where it is impossible. Finally there is no more space to cling to hope.
Pain, the ache in the eyes and the knife in the heart. Please accept this joyful agony, finally you are free.
This door barred forever, this fruit inaccessible, now if you can bear to sit out the gnawing in your chest you can look around at the garden, the rich bounties God has provided you.
Oh but how you wanted, how you will miss hoping, dreaming, imagining. You rebel against the beauty of the garden and the richness of your meat in it. Barren is the heart denied, you curse the lands that their soils be as parched as your soul.